


Did You Hear The One About (The One Who Looks Like You)?

by Brenda



Series: Second Time Around [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Political Animals
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, TJ & Bucky Friendship, TJ Hammond POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 08:16:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4341017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brenda/pseuds/Brenda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and TJ finally meet.  It's a lot less awkward than either of them were expecting.  (Takes place a few weeks after the end of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2567288">Second Time Around</a>.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Did You Hear The One About (The One Who Looks Like You)?

**Author's Note:**

> For everyone that asked and for everyone who was way more patient with me than I deserved while waiting for me to write this, thank you. I hope the meeting lives up to your expectations. :)

If anyone had told TJ Hammond a year ago that he'd be in bed with Captain freakin' America and watching him sleep like some sort of besotted lovesick fool, he'd have asked them how many drugs were they on and then tried to extricate himself from the situation before he got tempted to ask for a hit. The mere _idea_ of such a thing would have been laughable. The black sheep and disgrace of the Hammond family in an intimate setting with the All-American icon of virtue and values? Please. The real world – the world where TJ had managed to fuck up every single good thing in his life more than once – didn't work like that. Guys like him...well, like he'd told Steve, they didn't get that happy ending with the prince.

And yet, here he was, working hard on that happy ending with not just any prince, but _the_ prince of princes. A man – an actual fucking _hero_ – who radiated so much innate decency that it was its own special superpower. Someone who had willingly and willfully put himself in TJ's corner time and again, who had _chosen_ TJ Hammond, black sheep and fuck up and recovering addict, out of all of the people in the world. Out of all of the _better_ people who deserved that innate decency, who deserved the ride into the sunset with the person of their dreams. 

Here they were, tangled together under TJ's sheets, in TJ's bed. With Steve's head on his shoulder, the sunlight from the half-open curtains burnishing Steve's skin to a healthy, light bronze. Everything about Steve was golden – from his hair to his smile, but most of all, his spark or soul or spirit or whatever you wanted to call it. Even on his worst or blackest days, there was something just fundamentally _good_ about Steve Rogers.

Which didn't mean he was perfect or anything. Far from it. And TJ was profoundly grateful for all of Steve's flaws – for his stubbornness and reticence to talk about anything ever and his terrible sense of humor and his anger. TJ wouldn't have trusted anyone without flaws and definitely wouldn't have started dating anyone without them.

But the fact that TJ was here, clean and sober, in a true adult relationship with someone he both liked and respected and who liked and respected him right back, was a miracle. One he was thankful for every minute of every day.

"You're staring again," Steve muttered, without opening his eyes or even moving.

"What can I say, I like the view," TJ replied with a grin, and ducked his head for a quick kiss.

Steve was smiling when they parted, slow and content, and seeing it was like watching the sun rising over the lush fields at TJ's granddad's farm. God, he was _such_ a sap these days. It was terrible – and sort of wonderful, too. TJ hoped he never got used to this feeling.

"Love you," Steve mumbled, echoing TJ's thoughts, then shifted in TJ's arms, pressed a kiss to the hollow of TJ's throat.

"Love you, t–" The rest of TJ's reply was bitten off in a strangled moan as one of Steve's hands wandered south, stroked over his rapidly hardening cock before cupping his balls.

"So, I was thinking..." Steve closed sharp teeth along TJ's collarbone, then soothed the small sting with his tongue. And whatever it was he was doing with his fingers was probably illegal in some countries. TJ gave him about a decade to stop.

TJ bucked up when Steve started stroking him again, bringing him to full attention in the time it took for him to take a couple of shaking breaths. "Hmm?" 

"I said –" Another bite, another soothing lick "– I was thinking."

"M'kay?" TJ's hands spasmed along Steve's back. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire.

Steve's lips landed on his, the kiss slow and filthy and just about perfect. "You interested in doing a little work this morning?"

"Hmm?" TJ blinked Steve into focus. His face was flushed, hair sticking in all directions from TJ's fingers running through it, and his lips were bruised and swollen from TJ's own. He was pretty much the sexiest sight on the planet. "Work?" he parroted, the word not making any sense. It was hard to think when Steve was looking at him like that.

"Yeah." Steve's smile turned sly as he closed his fist over TJ's cock and started a maddeningly slow rhythm. "I was kinda hoping to get this inside me."

From hazily enjoying himself to raw _want_ in one second flat. It had to be a gift. " _Jesus_ , Steve..." 

Steve laughed into the next kiss. "I take it that's a yes?"

TJ surged up, used sheer momentum to reverse their positions and push a very willing Steve onto his back. "Definitely a yes," he said, sitting back on his haunches as he looked down at Steve. He would never in a million years get used to the fact that Steve Rogers – who really could have had his pick of anyone in the world – was flushed and naked and hard for _him_ , wanted his cock and his kisses and his hands.

He swiped the bottle of lube from the bedside table, quickly coated his fingers and shuffled so he was kneeling between Steve's legs. "I swear, every time I think I'm used to this, you do or say something that short-circuits my brain."

"That's a good thing, right?" Steve's eyes and cheeks were so bright, his look so happy, that TJ found himself smiling in return.

"A very good thing," he said, and teased at Steve's hole for a moment before pressing one slick finger inside. No matter how many times he had Steve like this – or how many times Steve was the one inside him, taking him apart – the visceral shock of it still ripped through him like a lightning storm. 

He took his time stretching Steve open, first with one finger, then two, scissoring them slow and steady, watching as Steve's face went slack with pleasure. "Anyone ever tell you how gorgeous you look like this?" he asked, pushing in just a little deeper as Steve's hips rose to meet him.

"You..." Steve's breath hitched, then it shuddered out of him in a long gust. The flush had spread all the way down his chest. "You do."

"I suppose I do. And I'm probably biased, but you really are fucking beautiful right now." Beautiful and all TJ's to do as he pleased. Another miracle, another reason to wake up thankful every morning.

Steve let out another low, throaty moan as TJ twisted his fingers again. "TJ... _please_."

"That's beautiful, too." Steve on fire for him and begging for his cock would forever be the hottest thing on the planet.

Those bright blue eyes raked over him. "If you don't get your dick inside me in the next ten seconds..."

"Threatening me, Steve?" TJ grinned, leaning over to scrape his teeth along the shadowed stubble of Steve's jaw.

Steve grabbed his shoulders, the hold bruising and perfect. The look in his eyes was hot enough to melt steel. " _Yes_." 

TJ gave half a thought about teasing him just a little more, but he was feeling pretty desperate himself. He bent his head for another kiss, free hand flailing for the strip of condoms that had been next to the lube. They were here somewhere –

"Hey." Steve tore his mouth from TJ's and frowned. "What're you doing? We _talked_ about this."

"Steve..." TJ let out a slow breath. "I know we did, it's just..."

"I want to _feel_ you." Steve brushed damp strands of hair from TJ's forehead, smiled that heart-stopping smile of his that made TJ want to simultaneously want to start a million charities in his name and kiss him breathless. "It's safe, alright. You're safe."

It wasn't like Steve was wrong; they _had_ talked about this – about ditching the condoms. Well, Steve had talked about how it was well past time to get rid of them and TJ had argued about his past and how he hadn't been the model of restrained _or_ safe back when he'd been using. And even though all of his blood work and tests had (miraculously) come back negative, he still wasn't willing to take that chance. Not with someone else's life on the line. Especially not Steve's.

"You say that now, but –"

"Genetically engineered super soldier," Steve argued, and grabbed TJ's hand, brought it up to his lips for a kiss. "You're _not_ gonna hurt me, I promise. And I don't want any barriers between us."

"How do you even do that," TJ marveled, with a small laugh. "It's fucking condom use, and you make it sound like going without them is the most romantic gesture ever."

"What can I say, you're pretty inspiring," Steve replied, and pushed his hips up. "I'll beg if I have to, TJ, but I'm kinda hoping you'll take pity on me."

"Fucking menace." But Steve just looked at him and TJ was a sucker for it, now and always. He grabbed the lube, slicked his cock, made a bit of a show out of it just to watch Steve's eyes go dark and hungry. 

"And you call me beautiful," Steve murmured, then wrapped his legs around TJ's hips to pull him down. 

TJ dropped one hand beside Steve's head, used the other to slowly guide his cock into slick, tight heat. It felt...the only word he could think of was _more_. He felt more of everything – Steve was so goddamn _tight_ around him, gripped his cock like a vise, and when he started to move, every nerve ending lit up like Christmas.

" _Perfect_ ," Steve groaned, rotating his hips in time with TJ's, each thrust sending tiny shockwaves of pleasure down TJ's spine.

"Yeah, you are," TJ agreed, and bent his head. 

Kiss melted into kiss as they rocked together, nice and slow, and if there was a word for beyond perfect, beyond connected, beyond nirvana, then that's exactly what TJ was feeling. The world could end at this very moment, and TJ wouldn't even care as long as he and Steve were still joined together, fused so tight and close that they might as well be one person. 

He lost track of time, of himself, just concentrated on the slide of Steve's tongue alongside his, the rapid thump of Steve's heart beating against his own chest, the smell of musk and sweat and sex in the air as TJ picked up the pace. Swallowed every moan with another kiss, slid one hand between their bodies to wrap around Steve's cock, matched each stroke with every roll of his hips. Steve came first, sighing TJ's name, and when TJ finally felt the all-too familiar tightness in his balls, Steve held him through it, kissed him through the aftershocks and eased him down with soft murmurs and even softer touches.

"That's it," Steve declared, the effect somewhat ruined by how wrecked his voice sounded.

"Hmm?" TJ had just enough strength to lift his head. His entire body felt like liquid taffy. 

Steve smiled at him, sweet and soft, and placed a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose. "We're throwing out the condoms," he said. 

"Oh." And even though he was sweaty and his skin felt way too overheated, he could still feel a blush spreading along his cheeks. "That good?"

"Ruined me for everyone else," Steve replied, and yep, the blush was now definitely spreading to TJ's neck and up along his hairline.

"Oh."

"I can't wait for you to feel what it's like. To have me inside you with nothing between us, nothing in the way, just you and me."

TJ's mind was totally on board with that plan. His body, however, not so much. "Shut it," he mumbled, dropping his head to the crook of Steve's neck and shoulder. "Not all of us have super-soldier refractory periods."

Steve, the asshole, just laughed and wrapped his arms around TJ to pull him close. "Duly noted."

***

Later, after a shared shower that led to a lazy mutual handjob, TJ wandered into the kitchen wearing just a pair of Steve's boxer-briefs, and contemplated what he had on hand to make for breakfast. One of the odder things about dating a guy with Steve's metabolism was getting used to making extra of everything when he cooked. Not that he minded that he was the one making the meals most of the time, especially given Steve's very limited skills in the kitchen, but TJ had to go to the farmer's market a lot more than he used to these days.

He could do a scramble, maybe, or a frittata, or crepes, although he didn't have enough flour on hand... But he did have bread. And French toast was pretty easy, and had the added bonus of being pretty filling, too.

He grabbed the milk and a couple of eggs from the fridge, then some sugar and cinnamon and, for the hell of it, some blueberries, and some almond extract. The butter was sizzling merrily in the cast iron skillet (passed down to him from Grandma Hammond, and he took religious care with it), and he was dunking the toast into the egg mixture when Steve came wandering out of the bedroom in just his jeans and a towel wrapped around his neck. And, even though TJ had just spent the last hour going over every inch of that sculpted body with his fingers and lips, seeing those wide shoulders and narrow hips knocked him for a loop. All of that was his to touch whenever he wanted. And the generous, angry heart that beat in Steve's chest was also his. 

It was crazy to think about.

Steve patted at his face with the towel, and smiled TJ's way. "Smells great, whatever it is."

"It smells like butter. I haven't actually started cooking yet."

"I'm sure it'll be amazing, whatever it is you make."

"Since I'm the one cooking, yes, it will."

Steve chuckled. "I did tell you to give me cooking lessons over piano lessons."

"Given how hopeless you are on the piano, I probably should've listened to you," TJ agreed, dropping two soaked pieces of toast onto the skillet. 

"Although, I gotta admit, watching you work your magic is kinda sexy."

TJ cast him a sidelong glance. "I see how this relationship is going to be now. I do all the work in bed _and_ in the kitchen, and you just stand there and look pretty, is that it?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Steve came up behind him and nuzzled at his neck. "I promise to turn the tables tonight. Whatever you want."

TJ shivered. He didn't think he'd ever be able to feel Steve's lips on him and not get at least semi-hard. "Bribe accepted," he replied, leaning back into the solid warmth of Steve's chest. "What've you got planned today?"

"Meeting with Pepper and Grace at the Tower to go over some paperwork for the new Vets Mentoring program we're starting up, then Thor's in town, so I'm meeting him at the gym later."

TJ flipped the toast over and grinned. "You and Thor getting all sweaty huh? Can I watch?"

"Sure, but sparring is still not a euphemism for sex," Steve replied, and TJ didn't need to turn around to know that Steve had that fond, exasperated look on his face. "Besides, I'm a one-man man these days."

Another thing TJ didn't think he'd ever get used to. "So am I," he said, "but if you did want to indulge in a little nostalgic making out with the mega hot Asgardian, I'm just saying, he could be on your list."

"List?"

"Yeah, the exception to the rule list. I think that's a thing couples have."

Steve turned him around and placed a soft, brief kiss to TJ's lips. "The _only_ person on my list is you, okay. And that includes all of my making out sessions."

He tried not to melt at the look on Steve's face, but he was only human. "I don't even know how you make the sappiest statements sound romantic."

"I think it was a side effect of the serum," Steve said, and how he kept a straight face was a mystery for the ages.

"I wouldn't be surprised." Then TJ nudged at Steve's hip. "Now get out of my way or the French toast is gonna burn."

"Yessir." Steve snapped out a salute that managed to look both wildly incongruous (given his shirtless and disheveled state) and hot as hell (see previous statement regarding said shirtless and disheveled state). 

"Smartass," TJ lamented, and shook his head. "Start the coffee if you want to make yourself useful."

"Coffee coming right up, sir."

"Seriously, you're the biggest troll I've ever met. If only your adoring public could see you now."

"You love it. And me," Steve stated, and yeah, it wasn't like he could argue.

***

After breakfast, with Steve insisting on cleaning since TJ cooked, Steve reluctantly left to run home to change clothes for his business meeting with Pepper. A few things had migrated here and there from Steve's apartment to TJ's, and Steve had his own toothbrush in the bathroom and his own drawer in the bedroom, but they were still, in their own way, taking their sweet time with the progression of the relationship and where it was headed. TJ didn't mind. He wasn't in any rush these days.

After Steve left, TJ got dressed himself and made his way down to the bar. He had a great staff with Cody and Claire in charge, but TJ still liked doing the inventory himself, and dealing with the various food and beverage vendors. His day to day life wasn't what anyone would call glamorous, especially given who his family was and where he came from, but it suited him to a tee. He'd had enough excitement to last several lifetimes and enough drama for even the most florid of Telenovelas. And he'd worked far too hard to regain his sense of purpose and self to take even the mundane details for granted.

"Hey boss," Claire said, when he came down the stairs to the main room. She was setting up the tables for the weekend brunch crowd. On Saturdays and Sundays, they opened at two instead of six for a late gospel/jazz brunch (an idea he'd shamelessly stolen from the House of Blues) and from day one, the concept had been a big hit. Such a big hit, in fact, that TJ'd been toying with the idea of opening at noon. But he wanted to run it by the staff first, and now that he was in a semi-serious (well, he guessed it was _serious_ -serious now that they'd both said the L word) relationship, he was reluctant to give up any more of his free time. Maybe he could get Steve to help out at the bar on the weekends and kill two birds with one stone. 

He grinned at the thought. It'd be great for business and for publicity, but he wasn't sure the world was ready for Captain America to be waiting tables or tending bar at his boyfriend's club. 

"You seem pretty cheerful this morning," Claire commented.

"Lot to be cheerful about, I guess."

Claire shook her head. "I gotta say, being in love suits you. But you have to know half the country is annoyed that you managed to snap up America's Most Eligible Bachelor before they could get their shot at him."

He grinned at her sly look. "Let me guess, the other half just wants the sex tape?" 

"Let's just say it's been discussed in more than one forum that keeping all that to yourself is pretty selfish."

"Guilty as charged." Maybe the old him wouldn't have cared if he and Steve were ever filmed having sex, but the new him was totally okay with keeping everything that happened in the bedroom (or living room or bathroom or wherever) just between the two of them. "My therapist keeps telling me it's okay to be selfish."

"Your therapist is probably a lesbian."

He laughed and grabbed his clipboard and pen from the bar. "Probably. I never asked. I'll be in the smoking room doing inventory for the back bar if anyone calls."

"Sure thing," she said, and headed to the kitchen.

TJ was still chuckling to himself – he had a great crew, no doubt – when he walked into the room. And promptly skidded to a halt at the sight of the _very_ familiar man, calm and as still as a statue, sitting at one of the small tables.

"Holy shit," TJ breathed, when his heart started beating again. He couldn't stop staring. 

It wasn't that he hadn't believed Steve when he'd said that Bucky Barnes was still alive – Steve had been far too angry and shaken up for it not to be real – it was just that believing it and seeing the evidence with his own eyes were two completely different things.

Barnes – was it okay to call him Barnes? Should TJ call him Bucky? Or James? – was wearing jeans and a Dodgers hoodie, but TJ could see the gleaming metal of his left hand under the cuff. (Steve had told him about that. About Bucky's arm, and how Hydra had replaced his shattered real arm with a metal alloy.) His hair was a little darker than TJ's own, and longer, and his eyes were the sort of piercing blue that defied description, but the rest of it? 

This was seriously like looking into a mirror. 

"Holy shit," he repeated.

Barnes cocked his head and studied TJ for a long, charged minute. "Huh, more alike than I thought."

"Sergeant Barnes?" TJ asked, then winced. "Okay, that was stupid, sorry, I know exactly who you are."

"I haven't been a Sergeant in over 70 years. It's just Bucky these days." He stood and offered his hand – the flesh one, TJ noted, and wondered if that was significant. TJ took it on autopilot, and used the closer proximity to truly study the man in front of him. They could definitely pass for brothers, he thought. Same height, pretty much the same build (although Bucky was a little bigger through the shoulders and thighs), same facial structure. But...there was something in the slope of his eyebrows, maybe, or the shape of Bucky's mouth or chin, that set them apart. Well, that and Bucky's lack of freckles across his nose and cheeks, the lucky guy (even though Steve seemed to like TJ's freckles just fine), and the addition of the metal arm.

"TJ Hammond," he replied. "It's...it's a pleasure to meet you finally." 

"Likewise," Bucky said, and glanced around the room. "I like this space. It's very Steve."

"Well, he designed it, so, yeah." TJ finally took his hand back, and resisted the urge to fidget by sheer will. "This is so surreal. I can't believe _you're_...wow. Just...sorry, I'm a little –"

"Don't apologize. It's a lot to take in."

Understatement of the century. "Does Steve know you're here?"

Bucky shook his head, and smiled – small, but genuine, and so fond that TJ's breath caught in his throat. _This_ was the Bucky Barnes of the history books and films and comics, the one Steve spoke of with such affection. "No, I wanted to have a chance to meet you without him hovering and making everything more awkward."

"That does sound like Steve," TJ agreed, with his own fond smile. As crazily surreal and awkward as things were right now, having Steve around trying to fill the silences would be ten times worse. "So, um, can I get you a drink? Because I need a drink. Maybe two."

"If you're having one, sure."

TJ stepped behind the bar and contemplated his options. Normally, he stuck with the occasional glass of wine or beer, but this definitely wasn't normal. It wasn't every day you met your doppelganger – especially when that person also happened to be your boyfriend's childhood best friend. Whiskey, he decided, and poured them each a generous tumbler of Maker's Mark. 

Bucky met him at the bar and slid onto one of the stools on the opposite side. "Thanks," he said, when TJ slid one of the glasses his way. 

TJ clinked his glass to Bucky's. "Cheers." The first sip burned on the way down, but he welcomed it. Bucky, he noticed, didn't even seem to notice. "So, uh, how'd you get in without anyone seeing you?" 

Bucky let out an amused snort, those piercing blue eyes softening and crinkling at the corners. "I guess Steve hasn't told you anything about what happened to me after my supposed death."

"He said Hydra had been holding you prisoner the last 70-odd years and used some sort of cryostasis to keep you alive, and that you had some form of the serum in you from the first time they captured you." Which still sounded like some James Cameron-level crazy sci-fi bullshit, but the undeniable proof was right in front of him, so what did he know. They were talking Hydra. This was the same organization that had invented ray guns and plasma rifles and the same people who'd manage to infiltrate SHIELD from the inside and had plotted to basically kill millions via a complex mathematical algorithm and using heli-carriers, so maybe kidnapping Captain America's best friend for nefarious reasons wasn't all _that_ farfetched. 

"Yeah, he _would_ put it like that," Bucky said, with another fond smile that made him seem a lot younger. Just like the guy in the newsreels at the Smithsonian exhibit. "Let's just say that part of being Hydra's pet soldier on ice meant I picked up certain skills over the decades."

"Certain stealth spy skills?" TJ guessed. Bucky kinda had the look of Natasha Romanov about him. That same sort of lethal stillness and hyper-awareness of his surroundings.

"Something like that," Bucky replied, and sipped at his whiskey. 

TJ didn't need to be a mind-reader to know this was clearly a sore topic, so he was happy enough to change the subject. God knew he had enough of his own shit swimming around in his past that he recognized the signs. As far as TJ was concerned, Bucky Barnes didn't owe him, or anyone else, an explanation about anything.

"This is...I guess you've probably dealt with stranger things, but this is really weird for me." TJ motioned between the two of them. God, he hoped Steve hadn't told Bucky the Halloween story. Or that Bucky hadn't seen the pics online. He'd probably die of embarrassment if Bucky brought it up.

"I'll admit, seeing you in person's cracked my personal top five, which is saying something," Bucky admitted, with a small shrug. "But I figure it'll get easier to spot the differences between us as time goes on."

"I guess I've had more practice at dealing with it than you," TJ said. "I mean, I've pretty much heard all the comparisons my entire adult life."

"Yeah, Steve mentioned it. And that he thought you were me for a second when you two first met," Bucky added. "I'm trying to decide if I need to apologize for that."

"Hell no, man, are you kidding?" Apologize, was Bucky crazy? "There are worse things in the world than looking like Captain America's best friend and a genuine World War II hero."

Bucky flinched and his grip tightened on his glass. "I'm no one's hero."

"That's actually not true," TJ argued. Whatever it was that had happened to Bucky Barnes after his fall from that train didn't have any bearing on what he'd done for Steve growing up or what he'd accomplished with the Commandos in World War II. And if no one had bothered to tell Bucky that, well, TJ would be happy to set the record straight. "You have no idea what you and Steve and the rest of the Howlies have meant to the country and even the world. And Steve...he doesn't talk about his past too much, but it's as clear as day that he thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread."

Bucky's lips lifted, but there was no humor in the gesture. "I think you're getting the two of us mixed up. You're the one he talks about like you walk on water." 

TJ could feel his cheeks pinken, but he ignored it. Although he did wonder what Steve had been saying about him. "I may be the one he's in love with, sure, but you? You're his best friend, you're the guy he's always looked up to," he said. "You're the one who knows him better than anyone else."

"Better than I know myself these days," Bucky said, with a faraway look that TJ didn't even try to decipher.

"Sounds like me and Dougie," he said instead. "He's, uh, my twin brother."

"Yeah, the one that looks like my cousin Robby," Bucky said. "I got all caught up on you and your family once I got wind that you and Steve were a regular thing."

"Vetting me out?" TJ asked, with a smile, even though he wasn't joking. And he didn't blame the man in front of him in the slightest. He'd want to make sure Steve was with someone worthy of all of that innate goodness and decency, too. (TJ _wasn't_ worthy, and probably never would be, but he was trying, God knew he was trying so hard, and he hoped that counted for something.)

"No, Steve's always been dead set on fighting his own battles. All I ever tried to do was level the playing field for him and try to make it a fair fight."

"I've got so many questions about that, too." TJ leaned in, elbows on the bar. "So many questions about Steve and what he was like when you two were growing up together. I want to know all about the punk who marched for equal rights and took on bullies twice his size." Because, as big and strong as Steve was now, he'd never lost that sensibility, and TJ hoped like hell he never would.

"You really do love him, don't you?" Bucky asked quietly.

"Since the first night we met," TJ answered, and if he sounded a little sappy, he didn't think Bucky would mind too much. "He's the most fundamentally decent person I've ever known. I mean, I'm not saying he's perfect or anything –"

Bucky snorted. "No shit."

TJ laughed. "Exactly. He's stubborn and evasive and a pain in the neck sometimes, but I love all of that, too. So if you're really asking me if I love Steve for Steve or for the six-pack abs, the answer is the first one. The body's just a nice bonus."

"Wow." Bucky shook his head like he was clearing cobwebs. "This entire conversation is like déjà vu."

"I'm sorry?"

"You sounded just like Peggy Carter just then," Bucky explained. 

Oh. TJ hoped that was a compliment. God knew he'd grown up admiring her and everything she'd accomplished and everything she'd managed to build. (Not to mention, his mother had always looked upon her as a mentor.) "Did you and her ever talk like this?" TJ asked, curious. "I mean, the whole shovel talk that's not really a shovel talk thing."

"Sorta." Bucky took another sip of his drink. But his shoulders relaxed, and when he looked at TJ, there was a certain admiration there in that gaze that hadn't been there before. "But you gotta understand. Looking out for Steve – no matter what body he's in – has always been my job. Him being Captain America was never gonna change that. Everything that's happened to us since the War – everything we've both been through – that's not gonna change it, either. So, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not making any apologies."

"Nor should you." Looking at Bucky, TJ believed a thousand percent that the man in front of him would do anything he could to protect Steve. _Steve_ , not Captain America. In fact, TJ got the distinct impression that Bucky wasn't too fond of Steve's public persona. "He's lucky to have you in his corner."

"He's luckier he's got you there."

"Yeah, I dunno about all that." TJ refilled both their glasses. "If you've read up on me and my family at all, you know I'm the cautionary tale. Steve could do so much better, y'know. But I can't say that I mind that he chose me in spite of my damage."

"Why wouldn't he?" Bucky asked, with a confused look. "You chose him in spite of his."

"Now you sound like him."

"You said it yourself. Steve's not perfect. Far from it, in fact. And he's been through a lot. Anyone willing to put up with all of that, and with how stubborn he is about asking for help, well, they're alright in my book." Bucky stuck out his hand again. This time, TJ noted, it was the metal one. 

TJ didn't even hesitate in taking it. If this was a test, he was determined to pass it with flying colors. He _wanted_ – desperately – to be the sort of man that a man like Bucky Barnes could call friend. And not just for Steve's sake, either. "Steve mentioned that...well, that no one really knows about you being alive just yet. And I'm not sure what you're going through or what you need legally-wise or anything else, but you have the Hammonds behind you, whatever it is. If there's something I can do or if you need me to put in a call to my mom or dad, say the word."

"Thank you," Bucky said, with another small smile. "I appreciate it."

"I mean it. We're in your corner. I mean, I'd be in your corner regardless of my relationship with Steve. You were...you _are_ every bit the hero he is to a lot of people."

Once again, that same shadow darkened Bucky's eyes. "Let's just hold off on that talk until you've heard everything about what I've done."

"Fair enough," TJ replied, with a small smile. "But, I mean, I know, okay. I mean, maybe not any of the particulars about what happened to you or what Hydra did to you or what you've been up to, but I know a fuck of a lot about trying to make up for past sins and..." He shook his head. It was way too soon to start talking about the old bad days. Maybe they'd get there. He liked to think they could, that they could be that close some day. "Look, all I'm saying is, I'm here if you want to talk. Or even if you don't. You're Steve's family, which makes you my family by proxy. And we tend to take that sort of thing pretty seriously where I'm from."

For a moment, Bucky was so still that TJ started to get worried that maybe Bucky wasn't breathing or that he'd said the wrong thing, fucked up in some irrevocable way. Then the barest hint of a smile tilted Bucky's lips, and TJ _knew_ that smile and that incredulous-and-disbelieving-but-trying-not-to-show-it look. He'd seen that look on his own face far too many times not to recognize it. 

Suddenly, he had a lot more respect for everything he'd put Nana and his mom and dad and Dougie through.

"Thanks," Bucky quietly said. "I'd really like the chance to earn the faith you have in me."

"You don't need to earn anything." Something TJ's sponsor and his therapist had been trying to hammer home to him for years. "It's there no matter what."

Bucky picked up his glass. This time, his smile reached his eyes. "I can definitely see why Steve fell for you."

TJ wanted to ask what it was Bucky saw, but this really wasn't about him. Besides, they were getting way too serious for this early in the day. It was definitely time to lighten the mood. "Well, I'd like to say he fell for me because of my superior dancing skills or flirting skills or even cooking skills, but I think it was probably the way I looked in a tux."

Bucky nodded solemnly. "Yeah, he's always been real shallow like that."

"It certainly explains Peggy Carter and Thor."

"Thor? Wait, you're telling me Steve banged _Thor_?" Bucky's eyes lit up like Christmas. "That sly dog. He never breathed a word."

"You didn't know? Oh man, he's gonna kill me," TJ laughed, covering his eyes. Him and his big mouth...

"Nah, it's his own fault for not telling me himself. How long were they a thing?"

Steve was _definitely_ going to kill him, TJ thought. But it was out there now. "Uh...I think they were just a sort of friends with benefits thing for awhile."

"Good for them." Bucky said it like he was a proud parent. "Steve always did have impeccable taste."

"Which doesn't explain why he fell for me, but I guess there's an exception to every rule."

"You really do that a lot, don't you?"

It was almost impossible not to fidget under the weight of that unflinching stare, but TJ tried. "Do what?"

"Disparage yourself when you shouldn't. I mean, from where I'm sitting, you're a successful businessman – and yeah, I know all about how profitable this place is – from a loving family and, if I _do_ say so myself, you are a pretty handsome bastard –" Both laughed at the joke before Bucky continued "– so what's with all the self-deprecation?"

"Oh man, how long've you got?" TJ groaned. Bucky, it seemed, was a lot more like Steve than apparently anyone else thought. Not that surprising, considering they'd grown up together, but still. "One of the guiding spiritual principles to the steps – uh, the 12-Step program, I'm not sure if –"

"I'm familiar with it," Bucky said. "And with your situation."

 _Situation._ Bucky made it sound so innocuous, when the reality was the depression muting all the colors of the world, the urge to smash everything to shit just to see what would happen, was something he stood vigilant guard against every minute. The bottomless pit that crooned to him every day and every night, a siren's call he would never be completely free of, was _always_ waiting for him to make one small wrong step. It was a situation, alright.

"Uh, good," he offered, when he was able to form actual words. "Anyway, one of the lessons that you learn – the biggest one for me, at least – is staying humble. Being humble and present and honest and willing to really listen, and recognizing that you're not the center of everything and that it's not all about you."

"Yeah, I get it."

"And sometimes...it's easy to take it too far, I guess. To knock myself down a few pegs before life or karma or someone else can," TJ finished. "I'm working on it during meetings and with my sponsor. And when Steve goes with me to meetings, we work on it together sometimes. But...sometimes progress is measured in inches instead of feet."

Bucky shrugged. "Progress is progress. Besides, isn't life supposed to be about the journey?"

"So all the bumper stickers tell me."

"Well, here's to bumper stickers," Bucky said, and held up his glass.

TJ had just clinked his glass against Bucky's when the door opened and Steve stepped inside. He was still in his slacks and button-down, which meant he'd just come from his meeting with Pepper, and his hair was windblown, which meant he'd probably walked across the bridge, taking advantage of the nice day outside.

TJ's lips were already turning up in a smile when Steve jerked to a halt, those expressive blue eyes widening when he saw who was at the bar. _Oh_ , TJ thought. Right. Steve didn't know about... 

"I, uh, hi. I thought I'd surprise you," Steve said, all slow like he was testing the words out to see how they'd sound.

"Well, you certainly did that," Bucky muttered, shaking his head.

TJ rubbed his hands on his jeans and tried not to wince too much at the hurt look on Steve's face. Fuck, he should have thought about how this would look, like he and Bucky were sneaking around behind Steve's back. Which, technically, well, it was the truth, and _fuck_. "Hey you, we were just –"

"Jesus fuck, Steve, can it with the hurt puppy eyes," Bucky interrupted, stopping TJ's apology in its tracks. "We're allowed to meet without you around."

"I know that," Steve replied, sounding stung. But at least he'd turned his attention away from TJ and towards Bucky.

"You sure about that?" Bucky asked, with a pointed look.

"Very fucking sure, thanks," Steve snapped. "I'm not his keeper or yours."

"Am I going to have to separate you two?" TJ asked, gaze flickering between them.

"Sorry," Steve offered, with a shrug. "I was just...I just wanted to be the one to introduce you is all."

"I'm really sorry," TJ whispered. He hated that he'd disappointed Steve, hated that he'd been the one to put any sort of wedge between them.

"Oh no, you're not," Bucky stated, voice firm. "Steve's hurt feelings are his to deal with, not yours. You didn't do anything wrong. You don't have any reason to feel sorry."

"Buck's right, TJ. This is my issue." Steve finally walked up to the bar and took one of TJ's hands. His touch was warm, grounded TJ to the present, to _now_. "You're fine, I promise. This one's on me."

TJ closed his fingers over Steve's, tried for a smile. It helped that Steve was gripping his hand just as tightly. "Are you sure?" he asked. "It's not that you weren't welcome..."

"Except you weren't, and that's okay, too," Bucky said, and nudged at Steve's arm. "Now kiss the boyfriend hello and pull up some wood."

"Still so fucking bossy," Steve lamented, but his smile was easy now, and when he leaned in to give TJ a kiss, TJ could taste the wordless apology in it. "Love you," he whispered, the words for TJ's ears alone.

"Back atcha," TJ replied, and gave him another quick kiss. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of kissing Steve. "You want a glass?"

"I shouldn't," Steve said, but sat next to Bucky anyway. "I have to meet Thor in an hour."

"What, it's not like it'll matter if you have a drink," Bucky said, slapping him on the shoulder. "You know Thor will wipe the floor with you no matter what."

"Them's fighting words, Barnes," Steve said, smiling his thanks to TJ when TJ poured him a healthy shot and set it in front of him.

Bucky shrugged, looking supremely unimpressed. "Bring it, Rogers. We could stand to go a few rounds."

"I'm not sure if I'd want to see that or not," TJ commented. He bet it would be something, though. Steve's raw power and Bucky's quick stealth... Yeah, they'd be a study in contrasts, alright. He felt sorry for anyone who'd ever dare to try to take them on in a fight.

"Eh, I wouldn't hurt your boy too bad," Bucky said, with a rakish grin that TJ definitely recognized. God knew he employed it often enough himself.

Steve snorted into his glass. "Please, it would be the other way around."

Bucky shook his head mournfully, like he was disappointed. "Still such a big talker, and yet I'm not hearing anything that makes sense."

TJ leaned against the back counter and grinned at them both. "Swear to God, you two sound just like me and Dougie. It's adorable. I could listen to you bicker all day."

"Sorry, I think?" Steve said, with that little lowered-lashed look that was as sweet as it was effective at scrambling TJ's brain.

"It's great, are you kidding," he said. "I like seeing you happy."

" _You_ make me happy," Steve offered, with a small smile.

"Different happy, babe."

"I like him," Bucky said, nudging Steve's shoulder again. "No clue how you lucked into him, but I like him."

Steve gave TJ another one of those pulse-pounding grins that made TJ simultaneously want to crawl across the bar to peel him out of his clothes and want to pledge allegiance to the damn flag. "I'm the luckiest man in the world, alright."

TJ's throat closed. God, he would _never_ get used to this. To Steve Rogers thinking he was someone beautiful, someone worthy of all that attention and love. But he was going to hold on to Steve and this feeling as long as he possibly could. "Ditto," he replied, hoping he didn't look as sappy as he felt.

"Aaaand, on that note, I'm making a tactical retreat before I see way more of either of you than I wanted," Bucky said, draining the last of his drink and standing. He held out his left hand. "TJ Hammond, it was a genuine pleasure."

"Likewise." The metal was still cool to the touch, but TJ thought he might be used to it now. "And remember what we talked about earlier. I meant it."

"I'll keep it in mind." Then Bucky turned to Steve. "See you for dinner?"

"You got it." Steve stood, gave him a one-armed bro-hug and smiled. "Catch ya later, Buck."

TJ waited until Bucky'd flipped his hoodie up and walked out the door, then turned to Steve. "He ambushed me, just so you know."

Steve made a thoughtful hmming sound. "That does sound like something Bucky would do."

"But, I mean, I agreed with his reasoning," TJ continued, because honesty was important, and he never wanted to lie to Steve about anything. "I love you, but it was gonna be awkward enough just meeting him, let alone with you there."

"Ouch." Steve pressed a hand to his heart and gave an exaggerated groan. "That hurts."

"It's the truth."

"Yeah, I can't say where I disagree," Steve said, with a small shrug. "And I'm not mad, I promise. I was just surprised. Now, can I get an actual hug and maybe a proper hello kiss?"

"Yeah, you can have both," TJ replied, and rounded the bar to step into Steve's arms. The hug was nice and tight and the kiss was warm and lingering, and if anyone in the world right now had it better than TJ Hammond, he'd love to meet them, because his life was pretty much perfect.

Steve was smiling when they parted. "Much better," he said, brushing a bit of hair from TJ's forehead. "I really am sorry. Forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive," TJ said, and meant it. "We're good."

"Good," Steve said. "So, what'd you think? Of Bucky, I mean."

"I like him," TJ admitted. "He's...I don't know what he's struggling with, but I really like him. And, when he's ready, I'd like to help him."

"He'll probably need it," Steve said, with a sigh. "Some of the things that've happened to him are gonna be a big pill for people to swallow once they find out."

"Well, he's got you and the Hammonds standing with him, for what that's worth." He'd make damn sure his mom and dad were on Bucky's side, too, if it came down to it. Family stuck together.

"It's worth a lot." Steve gave him another kiss. "You're amazing, you know. I don't think I tell you enough."

"You tell me too much," TJ chuckled. "I'd have an ego the size of Texas if I listened to you, too."

"I doubt it. But even if you did, it would be well earned."

"Such a sap."

"Yeah, but I'm your sap, right?"

"Always." Which was a thought for another day, but it was nice to know that he meant it. That he _could_ think about a future and not have clammy hands or feel a tightness in his chest. "But, right now, I have bar to open and you have some sparring that's not a euphemism for sex to get to," TJ said with a laugh, and playfully shoved at Steve. "And I can't concentrate when you're around."

"I like the sound of that," Steve replied, with a mischievous wink.

"You would."

"I definitely do," Steve said, and pulled him back in for another lingering kiss. "You mind if I come by later?"

Like TJ ever minded when Steve came by to visit. "You know I don't. And even if I did, Claire and Cody would outvote me."

"They do love me best," Steve happily agreed.

"Trust me, they only love you for your ass," TJ told him, with a friendly leer at said ass.

"I'm surprisingly comfortable with that."

TJ laughed. "Every time, man. Every time I think I have a handle on you, you go and surprise me. I love it. And you."

"I love you, too," Steve replied, with a cheerful smile. "Hey, you know any Shep Fields?"

"Yeah, of course, are you kidding? Nana would have my hide if I didn't."

"Well, maybe I can come by with Buck at closing and you could play a few songs for us?" Steve said. "He mentioned something about one of his songs the other day and it got me to thinking that we used to see Shep play at the Pierre Hotel. Buck and Sid Caesar were pretty tight."

"You..." TJ's mouth opened, then snapped shut. "You and Bucky were friends with Sid Caesar. _The_ Sid Caesar."

"Oh, no, not me." Steve shook his head, looking slightly horrified. "I mean, jeez, I doubt Sid would have even remembered meeting me. Five foot nothing, weighed ninety soaking wet, remember. I wasn't very memorable. But Buck...he was the one always dragging me to the clubs to hear the latest bands."

"Uh, yeah. That's fine. Wow." TJ shook his head in wonder. "You've got to tell Nana about this. She'll flip."

"I will." Steve smiled, then leaned in, brushed his lips across TJ's. "We'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah, you bet. Now get out of here so I can finish inventory."

"Going, going," Steve said, and smiled at him all the way out the door.

TJ just stood where he was for a minute, soaking in everything that had happened in the last hour. "Well, your life may be comfortable these days, but it sure as fuck ain't boring," he said to himself, then went to the bar to pick up his clipboard. Time to get back to work.

***

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, as ever, to Melle for all of her great insight into how the 12-Step program works and into what recovery feels like on a day to day basis. I would have never been able to do TJ's journey justice without her.
> 
> And thanks, as ever, to G. for the GSaP beta.
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://brendaonao3.tumblr.com/)!


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